This is the controversial reason why you should dump your long-term boyfriend: ‘If he does this, break up immediately’
A woman has divided opinions after sharing a controversial reason for parting ways with your boyfriend or rejecting a proposal.
Michelle Elman said to break up immediately if your man makes no effort in the relationship and only does so when he is about to go ahead.
The London-based author explained how a relationship should always be 50-50, and the proposal should never be the first time your partner arranges a date night.
‘It is so important. It’s not about grand gestures, it’s about effort. I wouldn’t be in a relationship if they needed a special occasion to do something nice for me,’ Michelle said in an Instagram video.
London-based writer Michelle Elman (pictured) urged women to break up with their boyfriends who put no effort into the relationship, except when it came to the
Michelle recalled a conversation she had with a friend who was convinced her partner was going to propose because he had made a restaurant reservation – something he ‘never does.
“I asked, ‘Do you think he’d do it on holiday, do you think he’d book a restaurant?’ and she was like ‘Oh, he couldn’t do it because it would be a giveaway,'” Michelle said. said.
She was confused as to why mere discussion would make it ‘obvious’ that he was proposing.
“She was like, ‘Yeah, I’d know because he’s never done it before.’ They were in a ten year relationship!’ Michelle continued
‘Forget the proposal! I wouldn’t be in a ten year relationship with someone who never booked a restaurant.
‘In a long-term relationship there should be a 50-50 split of effort around travel, date nights, booking restaurants, planning and organizing things for you to do together.’
Michelle said if such a man proposed to her, it would be an ‘absolute no’.
‘I personally don’t even go on first dates unless the guy books. But if the one and only time a guy books a restaurant is on the proposal.. it’ll be a no for sure,’ she added.
Michelle explained how a relationship should always be 50-50, and the proposal should never be the first time your partner organizes a date night (stock image)
The video has since been viewed over 607,000 times and received thousands of comments from other women, many of whom agreed with her point.
‘Really! My now husband cooked me breakfast in bed (complete with rose petals and chocolate covered strawberries for dessert) when he proposed and I really had no idea it was coming because that’s just the kind of guy he is ,’ one woman wrote.
‘My proposal has been bothering me for two years and I think you’ve cracked it. Going to sit with this for a while,’ said another.
A third added: ‘I wish someone had raised me with this knowledge. I wasted a lot of time being a servant to a minimum guy. I regret it.’
However, others disagreed and argued that it would depend on the man’s personality.
“I feel like videos like this are harmful because my partner has trouble doing things like this because of his ADHD,” one woman explained.
“Just as he grew up, now after two years he is becoming more consistent with gifts and romantic gestures.”
Another said: ‘Some people are just motivated differently and there doesn’t need to be balance in all areas of a relationship. You may find it easier to make plans and the others may find it easier to do other things.’
Someone else wrote: ‘I wouldn’t be in a ten year relationship with someone who takes ten years to propose.’